Go to the river she lovingly said
There's no need to push
Plenty of time before they come

My heart is in shambles
Obviously so
So I go

I bring offerings
Audaciously orange marigolds
Respectfully plucked from the front of our home
Their pungent odor lingering on my fingers
Forcing me to recognize their power

Forest and mountain hold the river close
Hard rocks perch along its banks
Here the river is gentle and quiet
There it is tumultuous and loud
It all seems a rush
I sit down

Late daylight illuminates the yellow leaves 
Like thousands of tiny suns arching above me
Hiding the blue sky
Bushes and saplings densely spread across the ground
Showing off their own vibrant palettes

And in the gap between the leaves of the sky and soil
The low sun peeks through
Creating a kaleidoscope of diamonds and jewels dancing on the river's surface
Reflecting their brilliance into my eyes

With each soft breeze 
Leaves flutter twist and float downwards
Touching gently upon the river

Already they’ve changed the course of this river 
Creating seasonal dams and barriers
Amassing around stones and fallen branches 
Clustering in the eddies and swirling pockets along the banks
Its current switching back and forth
Yet always finding a way

Beneath the surface 
Some leaves have settled down 
Laying amongst their decaying siblings
Others spin past 
Tumbling end over end in a slow majestic dance

Occasionally 
A leaf tip pokes above the surface 
As if coming up for a quick breath of air
Only to dive back to continue its journey

Others remain on the river’s surface
Their dry bent bodies sticking awkwardly into the air
And catching the breeze 
Sail upstream against all odds

I hold the marigolds close
Touching my head and heart
Breathing their beauty in
I offer them with my words
To the currents 
To the river
To not be afraid
To not feel small
To not hurt

They bob and spin 
Drifting along without urgency
Without a plan
Some flow downstream out of sight
One nestles quietly along the bank
Another, stem raised as if a sailess mast,
Somehow catches the same breeze and flows upstream
Adding its audacious orange to the thick dam of Autumn leaves

Something in me moves too
Against the odds
I rise
Butt a little sore 
Heart still tender
But somehow I’m all alright 
I return home